Kicks and Giggles

  • Taylor Loves Me, Too.

    July 12, 2006

    Well, I got jealous/inspired by my friend Andy when someone at the American Idol finale got Taylor to write up a “photo-autograph” for him. So I automated the process to make myself and any other sorry saps who don’t have cool friends feel better. You can make your own Taylor Hicks sign here: Taylor Hicks... Read More

  • The Unicorn in The Garden

    June 12, 2006

    I came across this today and it certainly brought a smile to my face: The Unicorn in the Gardner, by James Thurber, Once upon a sunny morning a man who sat in a breakfast nook looked up from his scrambled eggs to see a white unicorn with a golden horn quietly cropping the roses in... Read More

  • Mexican Tomatoes

    June 8, 2006

    Last night my wife opens a can of stewed tomatoes for dinner. I’m enjoying my burger when suddenly she nearly throws up, gulps big and starts making sucking noises with her mouth. Turn out they were tomatoes and chile peppers. I fished the can out of the garbage. “Honey, don’t you think the sombrero gives... Read More

  • Cat of Election Revolves Pure Darkness

    May 23, 2006

    Well, they say imitation is the greatest form of flattery. But I’m not flattered. I’m falling off my chair laughing. Ok, first, visit Go ahead I’ll wait. Now, check out It’s one thing when someone steals your design and makes subtle changes–that’s annoying. It’s another thing when someone steals your design and claims... Read More

  • Funniest Blonde Joke Ever

    January 7, 2006

    No offense to my tow-headed friends, but this has got to be one of the funniest blonde jokes out there.

  • An Ode To Spam

    December 20, 2005

    , this is for you (found these juicy morsels lying around the internet…) 1. Blue can of steel What promise do you hold? Salt flesh so ripe 2. Can of metal, slick Soft center, so cool, moistening I yearn for your salt 3. Twist, pull the sharp lid Jerks and cuts me deeply but Spam,... Read More

  • You Know You Are Living in 2005 When…

    November 30, 2005

    You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is... Read More

  • Wedding Bobbleheads

    October 28, 2005

    Don’t even ask…

  • Jesse Needs…

    October 24, 2005

    Saw this on Angela’s site (Angela needs therapy!) and thought I’d give it a whirl. Here are the top 10 20 “Jesse needs” on Google: Jesse needs some reading spectacles. Jesse needs to release a true autobiography. Jesse needs an award–I don’t know what, but something for sure. Jesse needs a forever home that will... Read More

  • Troubleshooting Wife 1.0

    June 16, 2005

    Well, I couldn’t resist. A friend sent me this and I got laughing so hard I just had to post it (what with the upcoming wedding and all): _____________________________________ Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took... Read More

  • Java Nuggets

    April 21, 2005

    Found these interesting Java applets while scouring the web. Lot’s of interesting mind-bending stuff here. Definitely try out the Life vs. Life game. It allows you to create a matrix of cells and then allow them to reproduce and fight another cell matrix based on set rules. The player with the most cells remaining after... Read More

  • Ya Gotta Check These Out

    April 18, 2005

    So I put together a list of some of the coolest things I’ve found on the internet this week. Trust me, these things are going to cost you a lot of time, so be careful: :: Street Figher Online – Just like the old SNES version, only now you can play against other people online.... Read More

  • I’m a Pregnant FBI Agent!!!

    April 1, 2005

    We’ll, what did you expect on April Fools? At least it’s not as bad as some of those pranks we played in college: rotting radishes under the bed, a LifeSaver in the showerhead, Nair in the shampoo bottle. You’ll forgive me, I trust. On a more serious and less joyous note, I had a job... Read More

  • Nerd Index

    March 14, 2005

    Yes, well I knew it was true. People have been saying it, and I have been trying to fool people with my outfits, but let’s face it: I AM A NERD. *sigh* Yes, I’m using FireFox, but I didn’t notice her Vulcan ears. Yes, I telnet, but I don’t use Lynx (but yes, I do... Read More

  • I Ate Burritos

    March 1, 2005

    This is officially the strangest dream I’ve ever had. Bear this in mind as you read: I’m driving through a small dingy town with my ex-girlfriend, doing 45 in a 45, when a cop pulls us over. I rummage through the glove compartment only to discover we have no registration or insurance information. So we... Read More