Dear Jesus, Will Spammers Go To Heaven?

You know, sometimes I sympathize with people. Even people who’ve done horrible stuff. I pat them on the back and say, “God loves you, in spite of your sin.” Grace is an amazing thing.

But sometimes I get to wonderin’ about spammers.

Who are these people that think I want gold watches, hot girls, vicodin, texas holdem’ poker, or male enhancement patches? ERM. Let me rephrase. Who are these people that think spamming my site is going to get me or any of my other readers to spend money on gold watches, hot girls, vicodin, texas holdem’ poker, or male enhancement patches? Yes, yes, I know why they do it. Links on my site to theirs ups their PageRank. They get paid for the clicks. I know the model. But who ARE these people? Do I see them in the mall? Are they sitting next to me at the baseball game?

If you’re a spammer, let’s talk. I’d really like to sit down to a hot cup of coffee and a game of texas holdem’ and say, in a very soft and gentle voice: “You know, for the last 2 weeks I’ve recieved no comments on my site because of a malfunctioning spam blocking software. If you would be so kind as to KNOCK THIS JUNK OFF, I’d appreciate it. Thanks a bunch!!!”

On a happier note, in celebration of the 30 or so comments that were once lost but are now found, I’m throwing a “let’s redesign my blog” party and you’re all invited. (Comments optional.) I’ve killed the fatted calf and fixed all of the stupid things that haven’t worked on my blog for the last 6 months or so (TypeKey is back, Larosa) … I’ve even thrown in a “these are my friends” module on the front page that shows links to random friend’s sites. If you’re not on there, refresh a few times… if you still don’t see yourself, send me a link or a comment with your site and I’ll put you up there–so long as you’re not trying to sell me a male enhancement patch.

PS (I apologize for thinking that the lack of comments meant nobody loved me anymore…)