I just performed my first two baptisms these past two weekends in church, but I must not be cut out for it.
The first baptism, I forgot to wear short sleeves so my dress shirt got drenched. Fortunately, I wave my arm alot when I lead singing. I was also advised afterwards that pinching someones nose while putting them under is bad form.
I learned my lesson for the second one. I wore short sleeves and didn’t grab at the guy’s nose. But he was tall and I banged his head against the side of the metal tank. The water and metal reverberated with the crash. Then I couldn’t get him all the way under. “In the name of the Father, the Son, the Spirit, *struggles* …uh… Yahweh, Jehovah Jireh, Jehovah Nissi…”
I always knew I’d make for a terrible Baptist.