With Chinese Communism back in the news lately, I thought it would be rather appropriate to share a few quips from Reagan on the topic from the December 2004 issue of Reader’s Digest:
A Russian Communist official asked a collective farm worker about a potato crop. “Oh, Commisar, if we could put the potatoes in one pile, they would reach the foot of God.” The commissar replied, “This is the Soviet Union. There is no God.” “That’s all right,” the farmer said, “there are no potatoes.”
A Communist is someone who reads Marx and Lenin. A non-Communist is someone who understands Marx and Lenin.
What’s wrong with Communist agriculture? Spring, summer, winter and fall.
Fidel Castro was giving one of his interminable speeches when a voice came from the audience: “Peanuts, popcorn, Cracker Jack!” Castro, furious at being interrupted, warned: “The next time he says that, I’m going to find out who he is and kick him all the way to Miami.” So everyone in the crowd started chanting “Peanuts, popcorn, Cracker Jack!”
On hard work: “It’s true that hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?”
On confrontational demonstrators: “The last bunch of pickets were carrying signs that said, ‘Make love, not war.’ The trouble was they didn’t look like they were capable of doing either.
On his age: “Thomas Jefferson said that we should never judge a President by his age, only by his work. And ever since he told me that, I’ve stopped worrying. And just to show you how youthful I am, I intend to campaign in all 13 states.”
