Why, why, why God do I wallow in insecurity?

You have brought me a love I am most unworthy of, and instead of lavishing you with praise, I’m living in fear that you’ll take her from me. Oh this life is so full of forgetfulness–I drive at night with music beating you out of my mind and all it takes is a glance from a little girl and a prayer to bring me to tears.

Remember when I was young? Remember innocence? Then I was young and unafraid and my heart was not this pleasant little rock garden that I tend to. Five pages on a legal pad of what I want to do with my life, but the hallways of my heart feel so empty without the King there!

Please God, don’t turn away. Don’t turn me over to the vanity of my own way. I don’t want pharoah’s throne. I want to be worthy of this bride, earthly and spiritually.