I nearly filed this in the Heart chapter, because I feel so strongly about it.
I came across a particular article today that brought these strong feelings to mind. It seems as though a random woman I do not know dropped her phone into the toilet. It’s a very good article arguing that technological tethers are nothing more than imaginary compulsions we place on ourselves.
But that’s not what I’m compelled to talk about right now.
I must, for the record, make it known that if you call me and you are using the toilet, I will hang up on you. If we’re in the middle of a conversation, and you begin to use the toilet, I will hang up on you. If you’re washing dishes or walking by a sprinkler or bending over to tie your shoe, I reserve the right to hang up on you.
I’m alright with you sending an instant message whilst on the can or even you participating in a hearty IRC chat while relieving yourself. Just not the phone. The “ambient noises”—grunts, gurgles, splashes, sprinkles and the like—are more than I can bear. It doesn’t matter how controlled you are, everyone grunts a little.
So don’t be offended if you flush and I disconnect. It’s nothing personal.
