Unfortunately, sex has gotten a bad rap in Christian circles.
I say unfortunately because God created it and called it pure. In the beginning, God created both the male and the female sexes and made a point of declaring them good; in fact, the very first command that was given to Adam and Eve required intercourse. The word translated as marriage bed in Hebrews 13:4 is transliterated coitus. Sex within marriage is just as honorable to God and proper as reading your Bible, praying and tithing!
Sexual behavior is a window into a person’s heart. In Matthew 5, Christ himself taught that sexuality was a matter of the heart. Romans declares inordinate sexual desire to be a rejection of God’s glory and authority. To put it plainly, heart sins lead to behavior sins. Every person, single or married, must decide who or what he or she will worship; your sexual behavior will demonstrate your conclusion.
The marriage relationship is intended to help reveal some of the mystery of spiritual truths. The intense companionship and intimacy within our relationships teaches us about the believer’s relationships with Christ; conversely, our relationship with Christ helps us understand what kind of spouses we are to be. Adam and Eve give us a helpful model: they were alone with each other, they found companionship with one another, and they were “naked”, sharing deep emotional and physical intimacy with one another.
Contrary to popular belief, God encourages pleasure within marriage. The words in Proverbs 5 “satisfy” and “exhilarated” are very strong words of pleasure: intoxicated, ravished, overwhelmed with pleasure until you have no further desire. And this satisfaction is meant to be a major factor in preventing immorality. Frigidity at home does not justify adultery, but it can be a contributing factor. The husband and wife are to so satisfy each other that there is no desire for anyone else.
The problems come when we pursue sex without the marital intimacy: lust, masturbation, fornication, adultery. Our culture is consumed with the idea that sex is about personal pleasure; and selfishness has taken over our thought processes. But the Bible teaches that sex is about pleasing your spouse. Ultimately, each person is to view his or her own body for his or her mate’s sexual enjoyment. This may sound unusual, but it’s really just an application of many other biblical principles.